I might just say this is the greatest Faceoff Friday ever. Today’s Faceoff Friday is a old-fashioned group melee between all 8 classic Monopoly board game pieces.
Who would win? Iron, wheelbarrow, dog, cannon, car, top hat, shoe, battleship, or thimble?
Now it’s quite clear that if you had the actual real-world objects face off, that the battleship would destroy the other 8. (My entire life I have been the battleship for this reason. It ensures me victory on the Monopoly board.) But for this Faceoff Friday, consider the actual size of the Monopoly pieces themselves. So all the objects are roughly the same size. The battleship is about the same size as the race car and the iron is about the same size as the dog and so on.
Firstly, the dog zones in on the hat and just tears it apart. While that’s going on, the shoe is kicking the dog in the butt long enough to distract the dog which allows the cannon to take the dog down Michael Vick style. I love rooting for the dog, but that cannon saw an easy target. With the shoe’s efforts directed at the dog, the battleship shoots enough ammo into the shoe to make the shoe into swiss cheese. Shoe down. Just as the battleship rips apart the shoe, the thimble comes in and pounds the battleship into the ground. Look at how sturdy that thimble is! The battleship ship had no chance of piercing the thimble’s armor with their tiny little guns.
That leaves iron, wheelbarrow, cannon, race car, and thimble. This whole time the wheelbarrow is off working on its secret attack. The canon figures the car is its next target. The thimble is too tough and the iron just doesn’t have any meat on it to aim at. The car is a big target and doesn’t have much armor. It can be shifty and move around but what else can it do? It can’t ram into anything. It will just get stalled. The thimble and cannon team up and the thimble manages to slow down the car a bit by getting the car to partially crash into the thimble. This allows the cannon to blast the car away. Just as the cannon finishes off the car, the wheelbarrow arrives and dumps a big payload of dirt into the cannon. The cannon reacts and attempts to fire back at the wheelbarrow only to self-implode. Cannon down.
Now it’s down to the iron, wheelbarrow and thimble. The iron melts down the wheelbarrow. Easy as that. It’s a long, drawn-out battle, but the iron eventually melts down the thimble. The thimble managed to pound off the iron’s handle, but the iron remains hot and victorious.