wrestler 50th victory

I am happy to announce that I have achieved my 50th victory in Facebook’s Wrestler game. The win came against none other than my brother Matt Maldre, aka Stegosaurus Smash. This victory has added meaning because I dropped Stego’s record below .500. ***Insert evil laugh***

We were going back and forth rather consistently throughout the match. Exchanging blow for blow. Then all of a sudden the match got weird. It was my turn and I attempted a simple leg drop and it failed. Uh oh. Momentum swung heavily in Stego’s favor. However, he couldn’t maximize; for his first move, the trusty clothesline, failed. At this point the match came back to even steven with a slight edge to Stego. We both had about 30 health. I had about 35 momentum to Stego’s 65 momentum.

What move shall I pull? Stego had seen just about all my tricks from my wrestling bag. I figured I would rub it in with a clothesline seeing as Stego just failed in his attempt at that move. Bam. It succeeded. Now our momentums were even. I hemmed and hawwed about my next move. I was truly stumped. There could any number of moves he decided to block.

Then perfect move shone upon me like a Calumet EGT 1000 watt 120 volt 3200 kelvin Lamp bulb. The Tongan Death Grip. I recently purchased the move to block a different opponent who used it all the time. I never used the Tongan Death Grip. I was fearful for its low success rate. Here’s the official description of the move:

Dart your hand under your opponent’s chin and grab a hold of a pressure point above the throat, squeezing the nerve. Difficult to achieve, but low risk and produces solid damage.

Success. Stego was destroyed. His health dropped from around 25 to 11 and his momentum was shattered to about a 12. I knew I couldn’t pin an opponent with an 11/12 rating. However, at this point I felt so confident that any simple move would finish him off. One simple leg drop followed by a pin and victory was mine.

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Matt Maldre
Admin
15 years ago

So a single leg drop knocked from a 12 to a zero? What? That’s impossible.

Am I going to have to buy a Tongan Death Grip now? Good goodness. *shakes head*

Matt Maldre
Admin
15 years ago

At what point do you pin someone? I always did it at health zero. Then again, I can’t recall losing a match when my opponent’s health got below 10. So THERE. I just like to beat my opponents until they are unconscious, cuz i’m the STEGOSAURUS SMASH!

Matt Maldre
Admin
15 years ago

Everyone in my ranking (in World, United States, and Illinois) all have 0-0 records. Sheesh.

Matt Maldre
Admin
15 years ago

I’m currently 468 in Chicago.

Matt Maldre
Admin
15 years ago

corkscrew 630
senton makes a bad opening move

Jonny “Bone Crusher” Croell tried a corkscrew 630
senton for his opening move and failed. He’s now at 87-15. Whereas I have 100-85. (note, when i give numbers like that i’m always saying health-momentum).

can you believe that? One failed move gave me 35m and he lost 35m.

Matt Maldre
Admin
15 years ago

That’s funny. A comment about a number is the 4000th comment.

Mark R
Mark R
15 years ago

My wife graduated from Marian Catholic.

Matt Maldre
Admin
15 years ago

Yeah, i need SOMEBODY that i can beat. (I have a 28-28 record.)

Tom Saaristo
15 years ago

Yeah, Mark. Join Facebook, become a wrestler and challenge me to a match. I’m an easy one to beat. I was on during lunch and saw that an Iron Chef challenged me to a match. No doubt Iron Chef will win. All s/he probably has to do to beat me is turn on the lights in Kitchen Stadium, or take a bite out of yellow bell pepper … and I’m down for the count.

Matt Maldre
Admin
15 years ago

Here’s what it takes to crack the top ten in the Chicago Division… The complete top 100 Wrestlers in Chicago: 1. 4378 – 3820, umaga the killer samoan2. 658 – 608, Sleepy Arthur Farthingthom3. 1163 – 1166, **Dru nken Scum** Maddogg4. 549 – 420, Coltrain5. 725 – 621, Psycho Ranger6. 560 – 528, The Gooch7. 546 – 416, ‘The Apocalypse’ Gabriel Poe8. 566 – 513, I have no time I am retired9. 543 – 580, ‘Mr. 51-50’ The Fi lthy Animal10. 445 – 389, Dirty McCheatsalot11. 444 – 393, The VIKING Mask12. 294 – 296, Dumbas sa ssin *UDMPU*13. 306… Read more »

Matt Maldre
Admin
15 years ago

26. 279 – 236, Kyle “The Fr eak” Rieger27. 273 – 320, Big Mike (8x ISU Champion)*FNC*28. 209 – 142, Ra ge’n Re dneck29. 302 – 315, Skywalker30. 231 – 198, Nameless **P.O.D**31. 216 – 184, Smo ts Applesauce**P.O.D.**32. 190 – 128, Roland Y oung *WAK*33. 212 – 207, JUKEBOX HERO34. 683 – 921, Se x Goddess35. 193 – 121, BOBO BR AZIL!!!36. 236 – 226, Dark Angel {*DOD*}37. 132 – 70, That Time Of The Month *CCF*38. 161 – 104, William Legend39. 234 – 180, The Dominator40. 347 – 459, Flyin’ Brian Lee 8X AZ Champ41. 415 – 541,… Read more »

Matt Maldre
Admin
15 years ago

51. 192 – 147, The Re-incarn ation of Bruce Lee52. 159 – 129, Kimbo Slice53. 142 – 82, THERIZINOSAURUS54. 302 – 305, FNORD55. 171 – 122, Mexican Judo56. 139 – 90, shredder57. 136 – 110, Cheddar Bob **P.O.D.**58. 96 – 93, Jobber59. 156 – 141, Bubbles60. 149 – 93, Tig Ol’ Bitties61. 118 – 86, Dammage62. 129 – 121, Madrigal63. 111 – 90, Megalodon64. 133 – 94, Super King65. 143 – 123, Justin Time66. 90 – 65, Dirk van Gayberg67. 96 – 69, Melody Mas sacre68. 99 – 68, A Mean Girl69. 165 – 150, karate kebin70. 128 – 146,… Read more »

Matt Maldre
Admin
15 years ago

It’s kinda crazy that number twelve has a LOSING record, 294 – 296.

Matt Maldre
Admin
15 years ago

I forgot that it’s also getting harder and harder to break into the top 100, because you have more and more people signing up for the application. That’s more people trying to get into the top 100. It would be one thing if there was say, 3,000 Chicagoans using the app. Then you know what it takes to get into the top 100. But a month later if there are 5,000 Chicagoans, man, it just got that much harder. I wonder if a couple years from now they’ll start weeding out old matches and only include matches that were done… Read more »

Matt Maldre
Admin
14 years ago

The 35-31 Stegosaurus Smash just challenged you to a match. Stego wasn’t retired, he was just busy collecting pen caps. And now he’s ready. Ready to fight!

Matt Maldre
Admin
14 years ago

Comparing what it takes to rank in the Chicago division on April 20, 2008 versus May 12, 2009:

April 20, 2008
1. 4378 – 3820
10. 445 – 389
25. 238 – 258
50. 167 – 162
100. 113 – 115

May 12, 2009
1. 24019 – 21662
10. 2582 – 1873
25. 621 – 603
50. 323 – 298
100. 862 – 1064