Give southern Illinois to Missouri

Northern Illinois (especially Chicago) always contrasted with southern Illinois. It’s often difficult to get legislation that supports Chicago to pass in Springfield because of all the southerners that hate Chicago.

The inspiration for this post comes from the Illinois governor we all love to hate, Roddie Blago. He made an announcement to the press that he’s willing to offer state police and National Guard resources to lower crime levels in Chicago. On the surface it sounds like Springfield is reaching out a friendly hand to Chicago. Once you understand the whole story it winds up being a backhanded slap to Chicago’s face. When addressing the media, Blago used very aggressive language to describe the crime situation in Chicago. It’s a terribly maniacal political move. He’s trying to paint a terribly gruesome portrait of Chicago in a time when the city is trying to give its best face for its 2016 Olympic bid. Blago is proclaiming to the world that Chicago is crime-ridden city that’s “out of control” as he puts it. To further emphasize the political nature of this move, he did not discuss this plan with Mayor Daley or any of his staff beforehand. He wanted to blindside the mayor. Plus, if he had discussed this with Daley beforehand, he really wouldn’t have been able to make the outrageously aggressive statements he made in front of the press. Blago might as well tell everyone that Al Capone is coming back from the dead and will kill anyone who visits Chicago.

So I say, “screw it”. Let’s give southern Illinois to Missouri. Blago and all the Chicago-hating southerners will fit in perfectly with St. Louis.

Decisions have to be made where the state line is drawn. I suggest the following counties compose the Illinois side: Will, Grundy, Livingston, McLean, Champaign, Tazewell, Peoria, Knox, Warren, Henderson. The following counties will define the Missouri line: Kankakee, Ford, Vermillion, Douglas, Piatt, De Witt, Logan, Mason, Fulton, McDonough, and Hancock.

The reason for this border is that I’d like to see the fine educational institutions that are Illinois Wesleyan University, Knox College, and the University of Illinois to remain in Illinois, not Blago’s hate-world.

I propose that the capital of the new Illinois be Oak Park. It’d be too obvious to make Chicago the new capital of Illinois. Oak Park would be a good solution to satisfy Chicago and the rest of northern Illinois. Oak Park shares a lot of characteristics with Chicago. It’s cultured, has great architecture, and has a mix of ethnicity. Maybe put the new capital building in a renovated Frank Lloyd Wright building. Or make Elmhurst the new capital. I always felt that the Elmhurst quarry would make a great location for a baseball stadium. I’ll go for the idea to use the quarry to build the new capital building.

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16 years ago

I do like the shape of “New Missouri” as drawn in your plan, though. It looks like Missouri is getting ready to punch Iowa’s fat nose in.

16 years ago

spud.. why would you want to take over northern Wisconsin? ๐Ÿ™‚

Matt Maldre
15 years ago

If southern illinois thinks they aren’t getting their funding, then yeah, just merge ’em with missouri. Don’t the southern Illinoisians love St. Louis anyways?

Or we could just let them have Illinois, and northern Illinois will just cede over to Wisconsin.

15 years ago

You assume that we want you. ๐Ÿ˜›
We might.. but that’s not the point.

Mark R
Mark R
15 years ago

I would make a distinction between Central Illinois and Southern Illinois. I grew up in Central Illinois (Peoria) and we were equidistant from both Chicago and St. Louis.

My guess is that you’d see about a 50/50 split between those that favored Chicago and those that favored St. Louis. Having said that, I don’t think anyone wants to “merge” just because they favor one city over the other. Most are fairly content with where they are at.

John Feeney
15 years ago

Been a while since I came across a site that made me think an laugh at the same time.

Being from DuPage – south of Will who cares. We thought McHenry – Winnebago already belong to Wisconsin. Could never tell where Lake begins an Cook ends.